So, last night my husband, K, and I went to get some things from a friend of his. She’s in her 30s with three kids of her own. So, of course, the conversation turns to us having babies of our own. Why wouldn’t it? We’ve been married for almost two years now. It’s time to stop being selfish and enjoying our marriage and bring the joy of having children into it.
I let K answer since it’s his friend and he would know best how to handle it.
“She’s going to school in the fall.”. Oooohhhhhkkkkkaaaayyyy. Well, K doesn’t like to share much.
“Oh, I thought you wanted more kids. You were saying not that long ago that you wanted a little girl.”
Apparently K is not sharing all of his feelings with me.
When I ask him how he feels about everything, he tells me the same thing every time.
“If it happens, it happens.”
I know he wants to have more children but I always assumed he thought one or two more would be a great bonus. I have had a niggling feeling that he’s trying to pretend it’s not a big deal if we can’t have more to protect my feelings.
So apparently he talks to MK about what he wants.
I had to be the one to tell her that we are having problems getting and staying pregnant. At least she didn’t give us any dumb advice on how to get pregnant. MK just said she was sorry and that she hoped it would happen soon.
Which, to all you people who give bad advice, is what you should say to an infertile.
This just makes me think of something K said a few months ago.
“I really hope we have another kid. The boys will be out of the house in a few years and I’m not ready for the house to be empty yet.”
I really love you honey. I know you are just trying to protect yourself and me if life doesn’t follow our plans.
But it’s okay to share your feelings and wants with me. I’m stronger than you think.