E.R., Walmart and Some Really Great Drawings

This morning I made a trip up to the ER because our doctor office was completely booked.

I posted yesterday about my mishap with my back.

My little sister, Daisy, brought me up to the local ER. She was more concerned with how pretty the nurse was than how much pain I was in. She called me a big baby. Of course, my sister is nineteen and has never really experienced intense pain like this.

I swear the doctor was younger than me. I don’t think 31 is old but it made me feel that way when I had Doogie Howser treating me. He came in, felt my back, asked where my pain was on a scale of 1-10 (it was an 8) and said he’d send the nurse in with some meds.

On a side note, how do you know where your pain is on a numerical scale if you’ve never experienced a ten?

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That was me in my room. Don’t I look sexy with my gigantic boobs and belly and stick arms and legs. The pictures are out of focus because I forgot to set my camera up to shoot inside the hospital.

So I did sudoku and Daisy played on my iPad until the nurse came back with some meds. I took some prednisone by mouth and then she had to give me two shots in the behind, one for pain and one to relax my muscles. I asked Daisy to take a picture but she wouldn’t. The nurse was awesome and I didn’t even feel the injections until she pushed the meds in. My bottom is still sore though. She then left and said she would be back in twenty minutes to check to see if they were working.

Daisy drew a picture for me.

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Here’s her interpretation of the shots.

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Don’t you love that she added my boob sticking out under my arm? This is what she said my butt would look like afterwards. I wish.

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She then added some vulgar graffiti. What else would you expect from a bored nineteen year old?

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I don’t know what a wenier is, but it’s nice to know I love it.

Anyways, the nurse checked back in and I was still in pain with a little sleepiness added in. Another half-hour later, Doogie came back and asked how I was doing. I told him I was still in extreme pain.

He then asked me what I thought we should do next? If I wasn’t feeling so dopey and drug-addled, I would have said “You’re the doctor; you tell me”. He asked me if I wanted to go home and rest. Duh, who wants to sit around in a hospital all day? He then asked me about what kind of drug I wanted for pain. I told him I get rebound migraines from Vicodin and when he asked about Tramadol, I said it wasn’t very effective for pain. So he asked me if I wanted Percocet, oxycodone or a fentanyl patch. Um…you went to med school to tell me what to take. I chose the Percocet. So he wrote me a scrip for prednisone and Percocet and instructions to follow up with my family doc on Monday or Tuesday. Then he sent me on my merry way.

So, because I had to pick up a few things from Walmart for the Packer game on Sunday, I figured I would fill my scrips there. Now, I can barely walk so I opted for the motorized scooter. Sexy, huh? The greeter said the carts were outside and being brought in but he would have the first one go to me. Well, the guy bringing the cart pulled it up and some old lady, who saw me hobbling toward it, hopped on it and scootered away. Luckily, the next one was just a few minutes away.

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Yep, that’s me in the beer aisle, wearing pajamas and riding a scooter. Pretty classy!

So anyway, the cranky lady in the pharmacy who said it would take 45 minutes (no speeding it up, they don’t give special treatment to anyone, even if they are in pain, she really said that to me) finally let me have my meds. We went home and I passed out from Percocet.

That was my day. How was yours?

Have a happy Friday.

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