Avoidance

This has been the post I have been avoiding. So last Tuesday, I was waiting for the nurse to call me back. I had called at 8 in the morning. The nurse called back after 3 in the afternoon. I don’t have a cell phone so I missed her call. The next morning my temp dropped and I started spotting. I decided not to call back. Thursday brought on a very heavy, painful period. When I went to the bathroom in the morning, I noticed a lot of clots on my pad. All but one were normal brownish red in color. One was a little pink one just a bit smaller than a pencil eraser. I’ve never had that before so I decided to call my doctor’s office.

They said it could be a miscarriage so they had me come in to do a quantitative pregnancy test. (That measures the level of hcg, the pregnancy hormone, in the blood.). Anything above 5 is considered pregnant. My results were 7.

So, after 5 years, I have ovulated three times, gotten pregnant three times, and had an early miscarriage three times. Apparently, when I do ovulate, I have no problem getting pregnant. My doctor suggested getting tested for recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL). My insurance won’t cover these tests due to RPL being a diagnosis of infertility. These tests are expensive.

Since K and I will stop trying by the end of the summer, I’ve decided not to do the testing. Once summer is over, I’ll go back on the Pill. The focus will then be on getting healthier and getting our lives in order to prepare for adoption.

I am just so tired. Infertility has been taking all of my emotional energy for too long. I’m ready to be free of this part of my life.

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