Back to School

I finished my second week of classes yesterday. I’m still stunned that I am able to go to school at all. I’m so grateful that K and I live modestly so that we don’t need two incomes to pay our bills. If that was the case, it would take me years to get my degree.

I’m lucky to be going to a small American Indian school. They seem to be very vested in their students. I’m assuming this is the case since most of the students are native and the tribe benefits greatly by ensuring that the students get their degrees.

I’m taking Algebra, Biology, English and Oral Communications. I’m finding the classes challenging already but not over my head. And if I would ever have problems, I know I could use their free tutoring service.

I have to admit that I am worried that I may have bit off more than I can chew though. I hope that it’s just because it’s only the first two weeks. But with work, school, homework, housework and trying to spend time with my family, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. Especially Monday and Tuesday, where I’m gone all day and don’t see K until I crawl into bed at night. I haven’t told K that I feel this way. I’m hoping it’s just part of an adjustment period.

And yes, we are still trying to have a baby. I have a post scheduled for tomorrow to update you and that front.

Have a great weekend!


Lack of sleep makes you think


So, I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning because my sinuses are bothering me. When I am up with nothing to do, I start to think about all sorts of things. This following post is not an expert opinion; it’s just random thoughts from the brain of someone sleep deprived.

I have been noticing lately how many people (in real life and out in the blog world), two or three years after having a child, end up divorced. A lot of these couples have been married less than five years. I started wondering what on earth went wrong that happily ever after ended shortly after the honeymoon.

I’m also amazed at how many couples who made it through infertility struggles with a baby and still get divorced. Shouldn’t the fact that they weathered such a storm have made them even stronger? Or did those struggles cause such damage to the foundation of their marriage that it was going to collapse eventually?

When K and I decided to get married, I was worried that he wouldn’t think divorce was a big deal since he was divorced. Let’s face it too. Marriages in which the husband has been previously married have a higher divorce rate than marriages that are a first for both spouses. Divorce in your history makes you more likely to have another.

So we discussed our thoughts on divorce. I told him that it was not an option unless something unforgivable happened. I know he kind of went into the marriage with an attitude that so many people have. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll get a divorce.”

There have been times in our short marriage where we have thought it and even voiced it a time or two. We both know that in the long run, it’s not what we really want. So we stew for a few hours or days and then discuss what is really bothering us. Often times, that is enough for us to realize that we are so much stronger than our bad days or weeks. We don’t keep things inside and let them grow into these insurmountable obstacles. We also knew from the get-go that we wouldn’t be happy all the time. Marriage isn’t all sunshine and roses. Sometimes it is just plain work.

Here’s the reason I knew K was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. Even though I was madly, head over heels in love and thought he was incredibly hot, I knew that I wanted to be with him after the overwhelming passion and looks faded away and what we were left with was a comfortable companionship. I knew that even though there would be times that I didn’t love him, the times that I did will be greater.

Sorry about the rambling, stupid post. My brain isn’t functioning well.

Oh, by the way, I am now registered for classes. In January, I can officially be counted as a college student. I’m just working towards an associate’s degree in nursing right now, but I’ve got big plans. Eventually I want to get a Masters in nursing-midwifery. Baby steps though. Plus it will keep our debt load smaller if I work on my degree in steps.

Have a terrific Thursday.