The End and a New Beginning

Aside

Since K and I are no longer trying to conceive, I think it is time to put this blog to rest. Not like was that great at updating. I apologize to the few readers I do have. I appreciate every single one of you. Thanks for sharing this journey with me.

I have started a new blog. You can follow my life there at Cobbled Together.

Blues, Clutter, and Impending Doom

I haven’t been posting because I haven’t had the motivation to. Depression sucks. I lost my main client so only work 2 hours a week right now. Apparently, I am the type of person who is fulfilled when I go to work.

I am trying to get out of this slump. It is hard because K is usually the one to help pull me out of this. Since he was put on third shift, he has been pretty depressed too. Do you know how horrible it is to have two depressed people in one couple? For one thing, our house is a cluttered mess right now. Neither one of us wants to clean. We just do enough so that our house isn’t dirty. The clutter is starting to drive me crazy.

I now have some motivation to get things taken care of. Satan’s handmaiden, a.k.a. my mother-in-law, is coming up for Frick’s high school graduation this Friday. I hate when she comes to visit. It puts so much stress on our marriage that we fight so bad someone mentions divorce. Any other time, our marriage is pretty good. The occasional fight that is resolved within a day is about the worst that it gets.

I’m just ready for this month to be over with. I need something to look forward to.

Moving On

I’m not even halfway through this cycle and I have decided we are done.  I am not using ovulation predictor kits.  I only temp to keep track of this cycle.  I don’t even care that we are not baby dancing every other day. No more waiting til summer ends.  No more trying. 

After five years of trying, we are ready to move on to the next step. 

We had the “are we truly ready to adopt?” discussion tonight.  That is now our plan.

While we don’t know what steps we are taking regarding adoption, we will now be ready to take those steps together.

I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.  I’m certain that this journey will prove to be another burden but one that will result in much joy.