I’m Angry?

I rarely ever get angry. I may get upset or irritated but angry is something I would say happens about twice a year. I have to tell you this because it’s an integral part of my story today.

Yesterday was the first day of gun deer season here in Wisconsin. I decided to take advantage of the fact that K, Frick and Frack would be gone all day by visiting my good friend. I don’t get to see her very often and we aren’t phone call people so it’s always great to catch up with her. Do you have a friend who you don’t talk to often but when you do, it’s like no time has passed at all? That’s my girlfriend.

We had a lovely visit and I’m so glad I took the time to go up there. On the way home, I was distracted and in a hurry. It was snowing so I also wanted to get home before the roads got slippery. I stopped at my dad’s bar to drop something off for my brother. I didn’t want to stay at all because the bar is a total time suck. You start talking to people and four hours later, you are well into making a dent in the barstool.

My sister and her husband were the only people there. I said hello, set the item on the bar and told them it was for Dennis, said goodbye and left. No anger involved.

Later, K had to call up Dennis to find out how hunting went up by them. I was already in bed so didn’t hear what K’s part of the conversation was. K came upstairs later and told me what was said to Dennis. I apparently just threw the item on the bar without saying a word to anyone and slammed the bar door as I was leaving.

Whatever. This sister has a tendency to think anyone who isn’t in the mood to talk is angry. She also likes to cause drama. It just bothers me that she has to run her mouth saying I was all pissed off when I wasn’t.

I would say more on the topic but thinking about it just irritates and frustrates me. I have said all I will say on the subject and that’s it.

I hope you are having a great weekend. I am. Off to church today, then home to skin and cut up four(!) deer today. That’s right; K, Frick, Frack and my FIL all got a deer on opening day.

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Tomorrow we are going to the OG with my mom to celebrate her birthday/Mother’s Day. We consists of my sisters Dee and Jae, my sister-in-law H and my brother Tee’s girlfriend Dako. H will be bringing her daughter, Bug and Jae will bring her daughter’s CC and JL. (Bear with the stupid nicknames, but my husband wants me to keep our anonymity and that includes family members.)

I have had a tough time with some of the choices my sister Jae has made in her life. I won’t get into all of them, but the one that has bothered me the most is when she got pregnant with JL.

She was not seeing anyone seriously just fooling around with one our dad’s friends. Weird, right? She counted the days in her cycle wrong and , oops!, fell pregnant. She then preceded to tell me about her pregnancy through a text message.

To shed some light on why I was devastated by this news, K and I had been trying to conceive for about two years at this point. Two months prior to Jae’s big announcement, I had had an early miscarriage. I was heartbroken for a long time afterwards. My husband then decided that we should stop seeing a dr to get pregnant and only try naturally.

Well, during my sister’s pregnancy, she met JR online and “fell in love”. After JL was born, she went out to meet him a months later and returned married. Big surprise to the family.

Since then, her blood pressure became elevated and she straddles the fence between insulin resistant and having Type II diabetes. Her marriage is not a good one. Yet she’s not using birth control.

So lately, she’s been making comments about not knowing how much longer she’s going to be able to do things and how tired she is. She’s been posting things on facebook like “Can’t wait to tell” and “we’ve got a secret”.

Which brings us back to dinner tomorrow. I have this horrible feeling she’s going to have a “big announcement” which she will want to share at our Mother’s Day celebration.

If she does, I will have to stab her in the eye with a fork.

(courtesy of minxeats.com)

I won’t do that though. I will have to sit there and smile and pretend to be happy for her. I will desperately try (and fail) not to cry because she will start her passive-aggressive campaign on facebook about how “someone” just can’t be happy for her and “someone” needs to grow up and realize that others can’t stop living their lives just because “someone” can’t have what she has.

I’m not just making things up about her facebook trollness. Those are actual quotes that she posted referring to me after she told me about JL. I just couldn’t be around her because it hurt so much. She thought I was being a big baby. I never told her about the miscarriage though.

Sorry for the rant. I’m feeling a bit sensitive anyway because of Mother’s Day and my miscarriage in March.

But seriously, take the fork and knife away from me.