Next Stop: Psychotown

Everyone has that one person (or seven) who can’t actually confront somebody and tell them what’s bothering them.  They write a status on facebook without naming names.  You know what I’m talking about.  “Somebody better stop talking smack about me.  Next time they do, I’m gonna tell them how it is.”  Those kind of statuses.  The kind that have caught the crazy train to Psychotown.   And there are always people who agree.  STFU, Parents refers to them as a P.O.B., or Pack of Bitches.

Trust me, it is not an admirable thing to be a bitch.

Anyway, my older sister is one of these people.  She drives me crazy.  I like seeing her updates about the kids on facebook but she posts too much BS.

A good example.

Yellow is her husband.  Pink is one of the POB.  I’m not the family she is referring to.  But she posts this kind of crap all the time.  I always take a screen shot of it because people call her out on it all the time.  And once there are comments criticizing her, she quickly deletes the status.  I guess she posted something because somebody made insinuations that her husband smokes pot.  I didn’t get to see it because it was deleted shortly afterward.

And Pink is just an idiot.  I have worked in a pharmacy.  This is the time of the year that many insurance companies start a new year.  A lot of times, people don’t get entered in properly or at all.  She really shouldn’t call them dumbasses.  Unfortunately, the poor pharmacy employees get the brunt of it when it is the insurance companies’ fault.

The point of my story is that I got sick of my sister’s crap.  So I decided to question it on a post she made a little bit later.

Yeah, I was a big old b word.

She deserved it.  I was promptly blocked by her.  Not that I care.  Someone told me that she deleted all of the comments off the post.  I am so tempted to post these pictures on facebook just so they are there for posterity.

Once my sister blocks someone, she uses her husband’s or kid’s facebook to stalk the blockee to see if anything is posted about her.  I never make any mention of it because I know that is what she is waiting for.  After a week of not seeing anything, she’ll unblock that person.  She’s done it to me multiple times for minor grievances here and there.

It just bothers me.  I can’t stand people who don’t confront their issues and problems head-on.  My mom does it too.  When something about one of us kids bothers her, she runs her mouth to every other kid.

Also, do I regret referring to her as bat shit crazy?  A little.  She may or may not be but her behavior is.  I hope she realizes that it doesn’t matter what you put online, it is permanent even if you delete it.

I honestly wish my sister was happier.  She has a crappy marriage.  She can’t seem to find stability in her work life.  Honestly, she reminds me of my mother-in-law.  I wish she would just stop stressing so much about other people’s actions.  Honestly, does it matter in the long run?

I’m trying to use this as a lesson that I need to remember to breathe before I offer criticism.  If I need to offer criticism, I have to remember to offer it constructively.

 

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Day 28

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It’s cycle day 28. I did not ovulate. I started using natural progesterone cream yesterday to bring on the evil witch. I didn’t expect much this cycle. I’m such a pessimist when it comes to my fertility. I’m going to try 5 mg in March. Hopefully that’s the magic dose for me. I don’t even really care that it didn’t happen this month. I’ll just hope we conceive right around K’s birthday, March 13th.

I do have some sad news though. I had told you that my brother’s fiancé was expecting. She lost the baby. Last week Friday, she had a doctor appointment and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. She should have been almost 12 weeks along. They had her come in Monday for an ultrasound and the tech and doctor didn’t see anything. They think she miscarried at about seven weeks because she had been in at six weeks and they saw it on an ultrasound then. Her progesterone was low so they started her on suppositories. If she doesn’t start bleeding by Monday, she will have to go in for a D&C.

I don’t know what to say. I’m heartbroken and can imagine how awful they feel.

Please pray for Tom and Danielle that they may find comfort.

Behold the handmaid of the Lord.

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When I read the story of the birth of Christ, that is the one line that speaks to me more than any other. When the angel Gabriel told Mary that she was to bear the son of God, she accepted that her Father in heaven had chosen this role for her. She was a young woman, probably nervous about her upcoming marriage, and suddenly told that she would carry a child. She would probably face severe prejudice for not holding on to her chastity and had to face the fact that things would be extremely difficult. And yet she still said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord”.

I have faced a difficult past year. I had a miscarriage, had extremely stressful times in my marriage, have dealt with severe periods of depression and am now realizing that this may be my dad’s last Christmas. Even with all this going on, being a handmaid to the Lord has been a struggle for me. I know that following the principles laid out for me in the Scriptures are the way to happiness and contentment. Yet for some reason, I can’t even do the bare minimum. I do nothing blatantly wrong but I don’t strive to fulfill the covenants I have made with Heavenly Father. I know that I’m not living up to my potential as a child of God.

In the coming year, I will try to overcome my weaknesses and dedicate myself to continuing on the path with eternity in mind. I know the biggest obstacle I have to overcome is letting my depression keep me from doing things that are pleasing to Heavenly Father. I will attend church regularly, pay a full tithe, serve others and keep in mind always that blessings abound for those who are obedient. I will remember that, even though those blessings may be few on earth, they will be showered upon me after my mortal existence.

I need to remember to be a handmaid.

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