The Story of Us: The Beginning

I thought I should let everyone know how K and I met. It’s really not that exciting or funny but not every great love story plays out like a movie.

That’s us about 9 months in. We don’t have a lot of nice pictures of us.

I know K and I ran into each other sometime in September of 2006. He was my nephew’s soccer coach and I was going to my nephew and niece’s games every Saturday. I had just ended my engagement to Hany, my first love a few months previous and have to admit, was not exactly remaining a nun. I was not feeling the best about the life choices I was making and had decided to get my life back in order. I needed to get my priorities straight so I chose to focus on my family first.

The first time I really remember talking to K for the first time, my sister had to ask him a question after the game one day. I was talking to K about something and the subject of our hometowns came up. We razzed each other for a little bit but had to leave shortly afterwards.

I remember thinking he was good-looking (okay, hot) and that he had a great smile that made his eyes wrinkle up. That doesn’t sound very attractive but it is. I also assumed he was married, because what single guy coaches kiddie soccer. So I thought it would be left at that.

On October 21, 2006, my sister called me up at 7:00 in the morning. She absolutely insisted that I needed to come to Tabitha and Jesse’s soccer games. I had been out most of the night before and had just crawled into bed maybe 3 hours before that. I told her I didn’t feel like going. She said it was important and that Jesse had to tell me something. I asked what time the games were and said I’d leave shortly. I didn’t shower and just threw on the clothes I was wearing the night before along with a ball cap. I wasn’t at my best looking.

I arrived a little after eight and found my sister and family on the sidelines of my niece Tabitha’s game. As soon as I walked up there, Jesse turned around and said, “My coach likes you.” I really didn’t know what to say. My sister was trying to find out how I felt about him but what could I say. I thought he was cute and nice and funny but had totally written him off as a potential date because I thought he was married (which he was, but that I will get into later).

So in between Tabitha and Jesse’s games, K and I had a chance to talk. I don’t remember what was said but I know he asked me to stick around after the games (Jesse played three games that day because it was the last day and they had tournaments).

It was freezing and I had only worn a thin sweatshirt, a very light coat and a scarf. I could not stop shivering. After the game, K came over to me to talk. I again don’t remember any of the conversation, probably because I was shivering and couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to get back to my car. We exchanged numbers and he asked me to call him.

So fast forward to after a nice long nap and a dinner out with a girlfriend, it was time to call him. I acted like a teenage girl. I would dial the phone then hang up before it started ringing. I don’t know why I was so nervous about calling K. Maybe it was because I was used to hooking up with losers that I didn’t think a nice guy would like me.

So after dialing and hanging up for the tenth or twentieth time, the phone rang. Of course it was K. We talked for two hours that night. He asked me out for that next Saturday. We talked every night that week. He even asked me to go to his Christmas party (before we went on our first date) because I was going on a road trip the next week and he wanted to ask me so he could sign up for two people.

We couldn’t wait until Saturday night to see each other, so I asked him to come up on Friday to see me and we would go to a movie. He picked me up and we went to eat. I didn’t want to look like a piggy so I only ate about half my food. So K just grabbed the pickle (that I still was debating over whether to eat) off my plate and ate it. He said the look I gave him was like he had killed my puppy or something. I really love pickles. We still tease each other about this. Anyways, we missed the movie so we went to Walmart. Great first date, huh? There isn’t a lot to do in my hometown. But I really had a great time with him. And he drove home forty miles on icy roads that night. He was really smitten with me. The feeling was mutual.

Saturday came and I met K at his house. We drove to Green Bay (which was about 70 miles from my hometown). He surprised me by taking me to a Gambler (semi-pro hockey) game. I had never been and had a blast. Then we went to a bar in his town and back to his house. We slept together but it’s not what you’re thinking; there was no sex. In fact, I was terrified that he would think I was a slut, so I didn’t even sleep in the pjs he offered me. Yep, I slept in my jeans and sweater. We just really didn’t want the evening to end.

So the next day, I went back home to change and ended up back at K’s house. This is how our relationship went. If I didn’t spend the night, we talked on the phone for about three hours every night.

Well, it was a bit long winded, but that’s the story of how we met and started dating. Kind of boring, but I love the story because it brought some of the best parts of my life to me.

How did you meet your spouse?

Stay tuned and you’ll hear about our first two years, the wedding and our life since. Riveting? Maybe, maybe not.


My Role in our Family

My husband and I chose together that I should quit a job that I loved and found very fulfilling to work part-time. I tried to stay home full-time but we found that if I work about fifteen hours a week, it gives us a bit extra money for luxury items.

I enjoy being home more. I plan the evening meal for our family, clean, and make sure the laundry is done for the day. I know many women who think that I should demand that K do his share of the housework. I disagree.

When I worked full-time, K and I would both come home tired after work. We’d both try to sort out the house, make sure a load of laundry got done and cook supper. We would do this together.

By the time we finished getting all the household chores finished, we were exhausted and often too tired to do anything with Frick and Frack besides veg out in front of the television. K and I had more arguments and just got on each other’s nerves more.

About six months before we married, I quit my job as a pharmacy technician. We discovered that with one income, we didn’t have much money left over for extras. Neither one of us wanted to save for six months just to take the boys to a baseball game.

So I took the part time job I have now. While our kids don’t get a vacation to Hawaii or Florida every year, we do have enough money to take them overnight at a hotel occaisonally. We spend much more time with them now.

K also is able to come home to a clean house and supper ready to be cooked. We are both able to relax together and enjoy our evening, which we never could before. We do more than just sit in front of the TV ignoring each other. We play Scrabble or Yahtzee. We go for evening walks or play basketball in our driveway.

I never thought that having less money would mean greater happiness in our family. We do more together now that K and I have more traditional roles in our marriage. I believe that a wife should be a helpmeet to her husband. She should be the nurturer and caretaker in the home. If that means K is happier when he comes home to a clean house and supper is already planned, I am doing my best to be his helpmeet.

Most importantly, we’re making memories with our children. I know they won’t look back and fondly remember that we bought all their clothes from the mall or got them every electronic gadget. They will remember K teaching them to hunt, playing games together and sitting in the grassy field cheering the Timblerrattlers to a win.

I know that the 70s were important for women. It allowed them to realize that they didn’t have to cook and clean and raise babies if they wanted to have careers. But the important thing to remember is that it allows you to choose what’s right for your family and you.

I know in a few years, I will once again go back to working more hours. We want to be completely debt free in ten years. A major part of that plan is that I will go to school, get my degree and get a better job. But even then, I will still work as few hours as I’m able to. I’ve decided that my family and home are more important than anything else, especially money.

I find this works best for our family. It may be different in yours. I believe that you have to find what’s best for you and yours.